First World Problems

I've been mulling over how to put these last few weeks into words. I think I'll put a lot of pictures into this post because I'm still not sure I have all the right words.

In late August, just before Labor Day weekend, we went on vacation with some friends. Before we left we had one issue with an upstairs bathroom. No big deal. We still had another full bathroom upstairs and another half bath downstairs. We were leaving town for a few days so by the time we got back the bathroom in need of repairs would mostly be taken care of. The place we went to was amazingly beautiful. Breathtaking. We had a great time swimming, hiking, sitting around the campfire and just relaxing.

To find a place like this you have to be pretty much in the middle of nowhere. And in the middle of nowhere there is no cell service. For our vacation it was so nice to be "unplugged". For the coming home, it was a whole different story entirely.

Once we were within cell service again my phone and Tyler's started going off like crazy. It was text after text and voicemail after voicemail. And guess what? While we were gone our other upstairs toilet decided to break. Yep. The water ran and ran until our neighbors saw water coming out of our front porch ceiling. When we got home this is how we found our house:

Down to the studs in half our living room, part of our master bedroom and now our master bathroom. So we tried to make the best of it. That's Logan on the subfloor. He colored a race track and was playing with his matchbox cars.

Oh! And in the midst of all this, I must share, school started! Now Haley is in 2nd grade, Logan is in Kindergarten and Penny is in Preschool.

For our first week of living in the midst of a remodel we held it together pretty well. The kids managed to get to school with all their supplies, they started soccer and we had our third home study visit! Our sweet social worker came to our house while it was all torn apart. I guess it was a good thing she saw our home before! 

THEN that same afternoon we rented an RV to move into for a week or so. Just living the dream right? :) Our home had become so stressful to live in that we needed a peaceful place to retreat to. Friends of ours let us park the RV on their property. It was really fun to be neighbors for awhile! 

We plugged along with trying to get our home study training done, but the long days were turning into long nights and we knew we had to push pause on something. We are just a few small steps from completing our home study. But for the next week or two we are setting it aside. It makes me sad. It really does. To know I could be working on something to help the process along but am not. But as I am reminded and reminding myself, God knows when our kids are supposed to come home. And all this is in His time.

And so now we are back in our home. It is nowhere near finished, but the work that needs to be done now requires us to be at our house so much more working on it. As I stand at the kitchen counter writing this here is what my house looks like:

If you know me at all you will know that I thrive when there is structure and order. My life has none of that right now. It's a struggle, it's stressful and I'm tired. There are moments when I can laugh at all this and moments when I just want to cry. I am way out of my comfort zone and element. But in all reality I know God can work this for His good. I know that as I learn to move past my pride and allow people to help me or to ask for help that God is growing me. And truly, this is all just a first world problem. I still have plenty of food to eat and a roof over my head. 

One day, instead of the rest of the house, I hope to be painting the kids bedroom in preparation for their siblings to come home.

Home Study - Part 1

We had our first home study visit! It seemed a bit surreal. I, of course, was on a cleaning frenzy the 24 hours before our social worker came. Even though she reassured me it was not a "white glove" test, I was not about to let my house look less than what I would consider appropriate. :) Don't worry, my garage kept me humble as it is still holding some remnants from our garage sale!

Our social worker seemed very sweet. It will be really great working with her. The part I love about our agency is that they take the time to pray with us. Its a good reminder that no matter how much paperwork, organizing, and interviewing we do, it's still ultimately up to God. 

After our visit we had to wait a few days before we received our checklist for what documents we needed to gather and forms we needed to sign. The waiting days are always the hardest. It's hard to feel like you should be doing something and can't. It's hard to feel like things are out of your control. It's hard to not get discouraged. So to be honest, last week was hard. I think that I'm still learning the waves of emotions that come with this process. Sometimes I will be able to complete a step and there will be great joy and it will be easy to praise God. Sometimes I won't be able to do anything. And it's in those times that I am learning it's easy for me to get discouraged and begin to grumble. I'm really hoping that will change!

And so now I am gathering documents, signing more papers, writing an autobiography and ordering things like my third child's birth certificate... that I should have ordered more than three years ago...

It has been interesting and challenging to write my autobiography. The outline for it involves so many different times in my life, so many different people and so much analytical thought! I think it would be much easer to write about someone else. And the fact that I hardly remember anything that happened before 6th grade doesn't help! I'm powering through though because as soon as we get them in to our social worker we can schedule our next interviews. They will be one-on-one interviews and take about an hour each. I can't imagine what we will talk about for an hour!

We are also wrapping up a fundraiser that we have been doing over the last few weeks with Thirty-One Gifts. (You could still order something tonight if you're interested!! http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E4747929&from=DIRECTLINK )

It has been so fun to do this one! I've even got some Christmas shopping done! I might do another fundraiser party this fall as there are new fabrics and items coming out. :) I'm also thinking of doing another fundraiser that is near and dear to my heart... it has to do with COFFEE! :)

I do have to say, it's hard to know sometimes if our kids understand the whole adoption thing. But they talk about their brothers or brother and sister every day! Sometimes Penny will look up and me and ask, "Are our brothers or brother and sister coming home today?" It's so sweet! And every night when we put the kids to bed, we get to pray with them for our kids who are not yet in our home. We pray that God will protect them and show them His love even before we can. I think our kids get it. And somewhere in my heart I am praying that they will know that we are all orphans waiting to be adopted by a heavenly Father who desperately loves us and chooses us for His forever family. 

It's Not Mine

Sometimes I can be stubborn. Shocking, I know. :) While researching adoption I came across many ideas for fundraising. One was to have a garage sale. No way. No thanks. Not interested. In my mind I had some very good reasons to NOT have one:

1. It's too much work.

2. We don't have enough stuff to sell.

3. We won't raise enough money to make it worth all the effort.

4. I don't even know how, I've never done one on my own before.

5. I can't handle the unorganized mess.

6. I just don't want to.

Well, those reasons were just not cutting it. That gentle nudging was happening again. I could tell God was calling me to do this and that He didn't think my reasons for not doing one were good enough. I'd like to say that I decided to obey God with a cheerful heart, but that wouldn't be the truth. I think I decided to be obedient because we had sent off our adoption agency payment and our checking account was at a frightfully low amount. I knew God would provide. I would do the garage sale, but I was expecting it to make maybe $600 or $700. 

In an earlier blog post I mentioned that we would be having a garage sale. People started asking if we wanted items donated to the sale. Sure! Why not? And so people started bringing things... a little here, a little there. And before I knew it my garage was getting full!

Here is a picture of everything out on Friday morning (yes, I know the canopy is leaning. Don't worry, we fixed it!):

 

We also had a snack stand that my daughters and niece helped with:

After a week of preparation and two days of the sale, God made it clear that this was indeed what we were supposed to do. We prayed that we would be amazed and make $1,000.00. He provided $1,600.00 on Friday alone!!! Friday night we looked at what our next payment would be, $2,412.50. We then decided to start praying that God would provide that amount. And as of today I am so blessed, thankful and excited to share that we have raised $2,196.28!!!!

Blown away. Amazed. Tears in my eyes. Completely in awe.

I know that number is still short of what we will owe. And I'm completely at peace about that. We still have a few items in our garage that we are trying to sell on Craig's List. I believe that once those are sold we will have all we need and more to set aside for our classes and training we will be starting soon.

It is so incredibly humbling to allow people to help us, to accept their gifts and donations and know we could not have done this on our own. I cannot say it enough, but we are so incredibly thankful for everyone who donated items, helped organize, let us borrow tables, baked treats, came to shop, and prayed for us.

We still have a long ways to go in raising the funds we need to complete the adoptions. God is faithful. God provides. God is good. And my stubbornness... that was a waste of time!

In God We Trust

We received our first cash donation! A whopping $0.25. :) But seriously, that quarter has taught me so much today. Let me rephrase that. God has used that quarter to teach me so much today. Going in to the adoption process I had always felt a strange peace about how the financial aspect of it was going to work out. I've had this peace deep in my soul.

But then our first payment was due. Before we could move forward we need to send our agency a payment. Suddenly my mind began racing. What if we can't raise all we need? What if the grants we apply for are denied? What if our fundraising ideas don't pan out?

This morning I went running with my friend Elena. I cherish those mornings, working through life as we run. This morning we ran right past a quarter. Elena saw it and handed it to me, jokingly saying she was donating it to our adoption fund. That was the huge donation I was referring to before. After we parted ways to head home and start our days, I took that quarter out of my pocket. I looked it over and over. It's just a silly quarter. But I kept thinking on how our money has "In God We Trust" printed on it. Why am I suddenly doubting that God is big enough to provide? He always has. I have never been without. If God is calling us to bring these children home. He will provide!

Trust. God. Money.

Thanks God! I've got it! Papers are signed. Payment check written. And it's in the mail!

I know I've written before that we are having a garage sale (July 18-19) to help raise funds. I just want to share that God has been so good in providing items to sell that have generously been donated by family and friends. Others have offered to help with the kids while we run the sale. And even others still who are making some yummy snacks to sell. We are so very thankful.

Another opportunity has come up through a sweet family member of mine. She has offered to help us raise money through Thirty-One Gifts!  Check out the cute stuff at www.thirtyonegifts.com. If you need gift ideas for Christmas it's not too early to start shopping! But don't buy anything yet!! Purchases made through her during August 1-14 will go towards our adoption. I'll post more details soon.

I am still so very thankful for all the prayers! If you're looking for another way to help support us, come by the garage sale July 18-19 or do a little shopping at Thirty-One Gifts in August. :)

Application Approved!

Our application was approved! We heard back from our agency in just over 24 hours! All five of us had gone to Salem to pick up some groceries from Costco. It was Friday, June 27th 2014. They had samples out so Tyler, Haley and Penny stood in line waiting for some sort of chicken product to try. I took Logan in the shopping cart to get some milk when I heard my phone chime that I had a message. I took my phone out of my purse and listened to the message. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears as I was listening, it was our agency telling me we had been approved! Logan was looking at me funny, probably wondering what was wrong with his mom. :) I hung up my phone and gave Logan a big hug while telling him we'd been accepted into the Haiti program. We can bring his brothers or brother and sister home! Tyler and the girls found us and when I saw Tyler I felt like I could start crying. I told them the exciting news and I'm sure all the other shoppers are wondering what in the world is going on with us. :) Those moments will hopefully forever be stored in my memory. The excitement and emotion were so strong I can't even imagine how I am going to feel when I actually get to meet my children! I have been telling myself that this will probably be the fastest thing to happen, so don't get used to it. Nevertheless, it was time to celebrate with a little sparkling cider!

This past week we had a nice break from the intense research, decision making and application process. Our agency social worker was out of the office for the week so we couldn't really move forward at all. We were emailed a 165 page document about the program, fees, training, and process we will be involved in over these next months and years. I think it was a good thing that was all we had to do last week because it was a lot to read!

On Thursday we went up to the house Tyler grew up in. His brother lives there now, but a lot of his dad and mom's things are still there. Tyler's dad said he would donate some things to our garage sale fundraiser so we started going through the garage. I feel like in some ways this is how Tyler's mom can be part of bringing our children home. It's pretty amazing how many memories come flooding back by just being at the house.  I was able to see this hydrangea bush that Caron loved. They will forever remind me of her. I miss her.

We spent a lot of time this week with our kids swimming, playing games and enjoying time with friends and family. We had a fantastic 4th of July and went to watch Frozen at the park on Saturday night. I love summer and the fun small town activities we get to do. I keep thinking about how fun it will be to share these moments with all five of our kids.

Now I eagerly anticipate tomorrow. I will be close to my phone all day waiting for our agency to call and tell me what our next step will be. What paperwork do we need to gather? What training do we need to start? What appointments do I need to make? I can't wait to get started!!

First Step

We've made our first step! We have officially applied with an adoption agency.  In some ways it feels like a baby step. The first of about a million and one to get us to the end. In other ways it feels like a giant leap! Like we've jumped head first into the deep end of our crazy new life.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014 - That's the night we officially decided on what agency to use. It's a pretty in depth application and took us awhile to get it finished. Tyler was working on the finishing touches this morning. And as he was working at the computer I felt like I was pacing back and forth and hovering over him. :) I decided I'd better distract myself or I might drive him crazy. A few minutes later he found me and said he'd actually submitted the application. That was something I'd pictured us sitting at the computer doing together... but instead of pushing the "back" button, he had pushed the "submit" button! Oops. :)

And now the waiting begins. We will not find out if we have been approved until after the 4th of July. I am going to learn a LOT about patience through all of this. Thankfully I have a few things that will be keeping me busy.

One thing will be a garage sale to begin fundraising. We haven't ever attempted to do a garage sale on our own before. I'm sure it will be quite the experience. We have already been blessed by a few families who have donated some items. The other thing will be getting our house ready for our home study. We are still basically "child proof" but I'm sure there will be things we need to work on.

Keep those prayers coming! Pray for our children that are growing in our hearts. Pray for our three we already have. Pray for our finances (yikes!). And pray as we face long waits and unexpected things that our faith will be strengthened.

Keeping up with the Jones'

Life is pretty great. I really have no complaints. I am blessed and I truly know it. Here's the kicker though: I am not content. There. I admitted it. 

The strange thing about being blessed and not being content has been the restlessness I feel. It's like I should be trying harder to just settle in to the life I have. To comfortably live in my 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house in the small, family friendly town we live in. To help out in my kids classrooms, shuttle them to and from sports practice and serve in my church. I thought all I wanted was to live a peaceful, comfortable life.

But then there's that restlessness...

I know what it is. It's that gentle nudging. That quiet voice whispering to me. Oh Lord, why do you ask me to do things that are seemingly so difficult! 

That's when I am reminded: "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:9-10

God is asking my husband and I to do something that will be difficult, something not everyone will understand. We are not capable of doing this on our own, but with God's power I know it can be.

So what is it that God is calling us to??? Adoption. From Haiti. And not just one child, but two!! That's right... we will have 5 children and become a family of 7! 

Our hearts have been open to the thought of adoption for about 4 years now. We have tried being a family that provides respite care for children in crisis in our community and we have tried becoming a foster family. But each time God has either given us a closed door or an unsettled heart about serving in those ways. And yet the verse in James keeps coming back to our minds. A call we cannot ignore: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

And so now we begin this new journey. We begin to feel our hearts grow in love for our children that we have yet to meet. We search and pray for the right agency, knowing they will be walking through this life changing journey with us. We are very close to settling on an agency and the excitement is building!

For now, for those of you reading this, I ask for your prayer! We will be needing all kinds of support through this, but for now:

Pray