Patience & Prayer

I have come to realize recently how significant dates are to me. They mark major events. They mark the passing of time. They bring back memories, good or bad. They come and then they go.

Over the last few months there have been some significant dates that have passed in my life and in the months to come there will be as well. I think there's an important part in our future that comes from remembering our past. I think of the stones the Israelites placed after crossing the Jordan. Stones to remind them of where they came from and how God provided them a path forward.

Three years ago I began writing in a five year journal. One calendar date will have space to write something separate for the next five years. Some days I do better than others in keeping track. Lately as I've written I can see what happened on that date last year and the year before. So many events keep popping up! Like when I went with Penny on her field trip to the Fire Station. Or when Logan was coming home with Tyler and Haley and threw up all over himself in his carseat. :) I love reading about the little things that happened in our day to day life.

Lately I have been itching to write a new entry and it just isn't happening (yet). Right now we are waiting to get our exit letter from IBESR. We have been waiting two months and six days just to get this letter (but who's counting??). After this we move to the court system where our sweet boy legally becomes ours in Haiti.

Before we got our referral a friend of mind asked to pray specifically that we'd get our referral. She prayed every day for this. I joined her in this prayer and in less than a month we got it! As soon as we knew we were just waiting to exit I asked my friend to join me in prayer again, to pray specifically that we exit. And so every single day she and I pray at 6:15 am. Some days all I do is beg God, asking over and over and over. Other days I am more eloquent and pray that I would continue to be patient and trust in His timing. No day is perfect, but once again I find myself in a space of learning patience.

Each day I am ready to write that entry. Each day I continue to grow in patience. Each day I pray protection over my son and that we will exit. Each day all I can do is know and trust that the God who loves me, listens to me and will move that paperwork in His perfect timing.

Each day I stand ready to place that stone of remembrance.

Home Study Update

It was only about a year ago that our Home Study was finalized. In some ways it doesn't seem possible that it's been a year already, yet in other ways it feels like a lot longer.

Since January 1st I've been trying to be much better about writing in my 5 year journal. As I have been writing each day, these are some of the things that have stood out to me from the previous year: January 11, 2015 Tyler had an elder meeting to talk about a few potential lead pastor candidates. January 13, 2015 I spent some time looking at our finances, the housing market and if it was a possibility to sell our house. January 16, 2015 we got a call from our agency saying we'd been approved for two children.

And now back to today, January 20th, 2016. We begin our Home Study update tomorrow. Tyler has a new position, we moved and now we have one boy within our sights. All of these items will be updated. We are hoping to have this update completed by March. I don't know what all an update entails, but I'm ready to get working so that we can be as current as possible when our referral actually does come!

We have had to change our Home Study agency due to staffing changes at our prior agency. I'm not nervous, but it does make me a little more anxious than I'd like to admit. Someone we don't know and have never met will be coming into our home tomorrow. It seems interesting to me that someone from outside my world is going to come in and examine my family and my home. In some ways I understand how it's good for someone to come in with no bias. On the other hand I wonder how well they can really know what they need to know about us. So yes, I may not be a nervous wreck, but I'm for sure going to go and dust now!



Penny made this on our white board the other day. She said it was for her little brother so that when he came home it would help him remember his brother and sisters names. I love how the kids think of him and pray for him. Thought I'd share that little tidbit too. :)

We Bought a Zoo

Ok, not really. We didn't buy a Zoo. I saw that movie once and for some reason when I think of saying what I want to say, that comes to mind. Seriously though, we bought a mattress. No big deal. People do that. But this mattress is for my boy. My son. I don't know his name. I've never seen his face. I don't even know how old he is!

We've been given what's called a "soft referral" by our agency. There is one boy that our agency is trying to match us with. Our paperwork and his paperwork are both being processed by the Haitian government. And at some point they should hopefully come together for an official match. Until then, we know nothing about him. Well, not nothing... we know he's somewhere between the ages of 1 and 5. Not much to go off of. :)

It's an amazing experience to feel your love grow for a child you've never even met. So many similarities to what it was like before we met each of our other children. And I thought 9 months was a long time to wait!! It's been 18 months so far... now that's a long pregnancy! 

While we were settling into our new home I think I hit a bit of a nesting phase and bought matching sheets and bedding for our boys. Crazy. I know I'm crazy. Yes, it makes some days difficult seeing the empty bed and wondering how long it will really be before he comes home. Other days it makes me smile in wonderful anticipation.  It reminds me to continue preparing in any way I can for him. It also reminds me to pray for his relationships with his siblings as they prepare to welcome him into our family. Most of all though, it reminds me to pray for him and where he's at right now.

Now some of you might be wondering why only one child when we'd been desiring two. Currently there are no siblings within our criteria available at the orphanages our agency is partnered with. At first I was a bit surprised. I mean, we'd clearly stated that we felt God was calling us to two children. I still feel that way! We are over the moon for this little boy, no doubt about that. But our hearts are open and ready for whoever God has planned for our family. It may not all come together how I imagined it. But it will be even better when God puts our family together just as He desires. One boy for now. Another boy or girl later? Only God knows!

Changes and Thankfulness

In the past few months we have gone through a big season of transition. In June, shortly after our Dossier was officially submitted in Haiti, we sold our house. It was the house we first purchased when we moved to Stayton. It's the only home my three kids have ever known. When we moved into the house it was just Tyler and I. It was such a great home and we were so thankful for it. We also were beginning to feel a bit like we were busting at the seams in it. Not that it was packed full of stuff, but as we have grown in our hosting and in our number of family members it had begun to feel tight.

We began praying about what we should do. We spoke with our friend who was a real estate agent. We listed our house with him and sold it three days later!! The hunt began for a new place... nothing seemed to fit us. Either the price was too high or the house just didn't feel right. We began to feel a bit panicked over what to do! (Ok, maybe me more than Tyler...) In God's timing a rental home owned by some other friends of ours became available. They so graciously let us rent the house from them even knowing we were looking to buy a home and not stay there long term. We were so thankful to know we had a place to move in to!

The day our house closed, the house we had really been wanting to purchase came back on the market. We put in our offer and waited to hear if we'd gotten the house. Days later.... We got the house!! We were so excited! It was a bank owned property that needed some renovations done (Fixer Upper anyone?? I love that show!! :)). The closing process was long, God has really been teaching me a lot about patience! Once we got the keys to our new home there was no more waiting as there was a ton of work to do! We were so blessed by family and friends who helped us do the work, bring us dinner and helping out with the kids. We are settled in and it feels like home. There are a few small projects to finish up, but what house doesn't have projects waiting to be finished?!

We are now in the process of having our home study updated. With moving we have to make sure that all our documentation is current. It was about one year ago we were just finishing our home study! So much has changed since then! Even in the waiting now for our additional child(ren) we are so thankful for a home that is ready to welcome whoever God has planned to join our family.

Letting Go

In my life I've had various dreams, goals and desires. Some I have out grown, knowing it's just not part of my story. New ones have come, and after pursuing for awhile, have gone away. And then there are some that have lingered, coming to the surface full force every so often.

One dream, goal and desire of mine was to live along the southern California coast to be near my family, to be in the sun and surf at all possible times. There is something about the California beach that has always tugged at me. A life I had dreamed of for as long as I can remember.

Then last year when God called us to adopt I felt that dream slipping through my fingers. I knew I couldn't desire both. I couldn't be all-in to the life God was calling me to and still captivated by the dream I so wanted to live out. And so I prayed. I prayed and prayed that God would release me from whatever dream I had conjured up in my mind that didn't align with his. And much to my surprise, one morning he did...

About a week before we decided for sure that we were going to pursue adopting two children I looked at another beach picture in my bathroom. It's a smaller black and white picture with a pier and two small silhouettes of people holding surf boards heading to the ocean. My dream. I needed to have my heart 100% present and passionately pursuing my children. With a reckless abandon and a reckless love. So as I looked at the picture I prayed again. I prayed that God would do a work in my heart to let go of this dream and that my heart would be taken over with what God's dream for my life is. Through tears I submitted all my hopes and dreams, asking Him to align my heart with His. 

The two black and white pictures below I have had probably since high school. Last summer while going through items to sell in our garage sale I pulled these treasures out. They had been hung in the first apartment Tyler and I moved into after we got married (and then the next seven places we lived in the next five years). They had also once been on the walls of our current home, but taken down for some reason I can't even remember now. And so I sold them. Probably sold them for all of $10, even though in my mind they were worth so much more. But they just didn't belong to me anymore. I had to let go.

Over this last week I've been reminded of how much God has messed up "my" life. I thought I'd live in Southern California. Nope. I thought I'd be the wife of a youth pastor forever. Nope. I thought I'd have two children and that's it. Nope. But hear me say this: my life is even more beautiful than I ever could have dreamed.

Tyler was affirmed today at church as the new lead pastor. See? I never thought I'd be a lead pastor's wife. We live in Oregon. Yet again a place I had wanted so badly to leave growing up. We have three children with two more on the way. But I wouldn't change this for the world. This is where I belong. I love it here. I love our church. I love our community. I love our friends and family that are so close. I even love the cool foggy mornings and the cloudy cozy days. (I do fiercely look forward to summer though!) This is what God's calling me to. To be living and doing the exact things he has called me to brings such peace and excitement. It's a letting go of the good thing in order to grasp the better.

And so I wanted to share with you today about these pictures and the process because...

This. Is. Better.

The Hoe-Down

For so long it seems like everything in life has been in a holding pattern. Recently there have been some exciting things happening! There's really exciting news at the end of this post... don't skip to it though! (I know there are some of you who skip to the back of a good book to read the ending first!) There's lots of good stuff to read about!

Last Friday night we had the honor and blessing of being the chosen family for the Hoe-Down Adoption Fundraiser. Let me give you a little back story as to how this all came about...

Last Spring when the idea of adoption was fresh on our hearts and minds I was running with my friend Elena.  During one of our runs she mentioned to me about a family she knew of who had recently adopted from the DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo) and that they had a blog. Of course I had to go home and read all the blog posts in one sitting. They were so good!! I may have cried a few tears for a family I didn't even know. :)

Fast forward a month or two, and it was August (probably my favorite month of the year, but that's probably not really relevant here). I finally made it to the splash pad in Salem with my friend Sara. It was a glorious, hot summer day for a picnic and time playing outside. As a native Oregonian who probably should have grown up in Southern California, I live for days like those. While I'm watching my kids play in the water I see this family that looks curiously familiar. My heart starts to beat a little faster as it seems to do that when God is asking me to do something. I walked over to this woman I didn't know, but had read about her journey and introduced myself. So yes, I confess, I'm a blog stalker. :)  Um yeah, that is so NOT me! She was so sweet and gracious and we chatted for a bit until our children pulled us away from conversation needing help with something.

A few minutes later Kara (the woman I probably just scared and who probably thought I was crazy) came over to me and said that while she was helping her children she could feel God stirring in her heart. You see, Kara and her husband Jeff have this huge and amazing heart for orphans. They found a way to raise money during their adoption process and are now blessing other families by putting on the same event for those other families. And that stirring that Kara was feeling was that we were to be the next family they would do the event for! What?!?! I don't even know you, but we have mutual friends so that's cool and now you're going to bless us?!?! Seriously. If you allow God to work in your life, he's going to orchestrate some crazy amazing things!!

And now fast forward again to last Friday. The Third Annual Adoption Fundraising Hoe-Down happened! And we were so blessed. Blessed by the people who donated forks and napkins. Blessed by the people who made pies. Blessed by the people who donated the barn. Blessed by the people ran the photo booth and the t-shirt table and served pies. Blessed by the people who took care of the drinks. Blessed by the people who came, who ate pie, who danced, and who gave. And blessed by the family I met at a splash pad who gave us the humbling honor of being the recipient of this event.

The whole evening was so much fun. By the end of the night we had raised $3,048! Unreal! Adoption is beautiful. It's also expensive. But God knows exactly what we need and He provides. And because we spoke about it at the Hoe-Down, I'll share it here too: We are estimating that adopting two children will cost around $47,500. (Originally we had thought $50,000, but there have been a few changes recently in Haiti.) With fundraising, the generosity of friends and family and our own personal savings, we have raised $28,000! That leaves $19,500. That may sound like a lot, but I don't even feel worried about it. I will say that I eagerly look forward to having all the money raised though, that's for sure! It will be such a relief to not have that hanging in the back of my mind, but God is good and He provides.

We have two fundraisers that we are working on right now. We are hoping to have another garage sale in May or June. We have already had people donating items! My garage is getting full!!
We also have t-shirts. They were available at the Hoe-Down, but there are more! $20 for the shirts :)

And now the really exciting news....

Our Dossier is on it's way to Haiti!! Once it arrives in Haiti it will need to be legalized. Then after that it will be submitted to the government agency that matches the children with families. So now we wait. We have no idea how long it will take to be matched... one month, two months, six or more... 

The first part of our journey seemed to take much longer than I thought it would. During that time God has provided. There is a whisper in my heart that God has provided so much financially now because this second half will happen sooner than I'm anticipating it will. I know it's all in God's timing. But I'm praying that it won't be long before we are introduced to our sweet children's faces. 

Here's how you can be praying for us now:

1. As we continue to raise the funds that are needed that God would provide.

2. That the second half of this adoption journey would go quickly and smoothly.

I feel like I still have so much to share... but I'm going to wait until Sunday to finish those thoughts. :)

Random Thoughts

I'm supposed to be working on Tyler's reimbursements right now. But I can't really focus... I've got too much adoption stuff on my mind! I thought I'd share a few things really quickly and then get back to work! :)

We have our appointment with USCIS next week to get our fingerprints taken. Then soon after that appointment we should get our approval on the US side to proceed. Once we get approval we can send our Dossier to Haiti. Now that I know we are close I started looking at all our paperwork again that I've been collecting over the months. And as the months went by some of the papers now need to be updated and small fixes need to be made before we take them in to be notarized. On top of that I just found out today that after they are notarized we need to take them to the County and the State to be authenticated. (I don't know how I missed that step before!)

Needless to say, my mind is spinning. I want to be sure to get everything right! There are so many papers to check and double check. Signatures. Dates. Oh my! And then there are all the other needs to be met: the kids need a snack, dishes need to be done, laundry piling up. Sometimes the calling feels so great and heavy and yet exciting and urgent at the same time. Yep, I feel a tad overwhelmed. :)

Then I hear a gentle whisper. From somewhere deep in my soul God reminded me of this:

He is my Rock.
The End. (And I'm off to get the kids a snack!)

The Next Step

We have made it to our next step! One step that felt like I ran about 50 marathons and had to crawl my way to the finish line to take. Phew!!

On Friday, February 13th we received our finalized Home Study documents. I was beyond thrilled when I saw this beautiful little package sitting by our front door. :)

Our next step was to file our I-800A paperwork with immigration. We had all that paperwork ready, so I grabbed one copy of our home study and went right out to mail the paperwork. I got confirmation on Monday they received our paperwork. And now we wait for notice in the mail of our biometrics appointment. Biometrics is when we go and have our picture taken, an electronic capture of our signature and our fingerprints - as far as I understand anyway. :) I can update you on that once I experience what actually happens!

This process usually takes 6-8 weeks. Then we can send our dossier to Haiti! We are sooooo close! Once we send our dossier to Haiti we will have another waiting game on our hands. Waiting to be matched with our kiddos!

In the meantime, now that we have our home study, we can apply for grants. I'm not as excited about this one... more filling out paperwork. But this adoption stuff is EXPENSIVE!! Filling out grant applications will now become my new part-time job. ;)

And speaking of expenses; we have a super fun fundraising event coming up! (It's a total God-thing how this fundraiser came about, but that's another story for another time.) Mark your calendars! Tell and invite your friends and family!

Waiting Patiently (or not so much)

It's been 13 years since Tyler asked me to marry him. I pretty much knew it was coming. So when Christmas season began in 2001 I eagerly anticipated him asking me at any moment.

Then Christmas Eve came and went.

Then Christmas Day came and went.

I thought maybe I'd missed something... isn't the Christmas season a romantic time for proposing???

Then New Years Eve came and went.

New Years Day 2002. Tyler and I drove to the beach to spend the day. And that's when he FINALLY proposed. On the beach. That was pretty romantic too. ;)


Fast forward 13 years... I spent this past Christmas season eagerly anticipating hearing from our adoption agency that our home study was finalized.

Then Christmas Eve came and went.

Then Christmas Day came and went.

What more did they need from us to complete it? More paperwork I'd missed? More training? Oh how I wished every day that they would call and tell us we were finalized.

Then New Years Eve came and went.

The New Year began and I just kept wondering when we'd find out. It's so hard to be patient! To find the balance between being diligent and working towards bringing our kids home and being patient is definitely a struggle for me. I don't know how I would have handled it before cell phones- I'd never leave my house in anticipation that ANY DAY we could get a phone call from our agency! I guess even with my cell phone I worried that they would call when I wasn't able to answer. :)

I've spent the past 16 days trying to focus on my kids and Tyler, friendships, eating better and exercising more, my relationship with Christ and my time spent in prayer, reading new books, etc. But so often I found myself checking my email and the ringer volume on my phone.

Then today we got some great news! We are officially approved to adopt two children (siblings)!!!  I am so incredibly happy!!! We have never wavered from feeling that God has called us to adopt two children and so now to have that made more possible now is such a relief and blessing.

My sweet friend and fellow adoptive momma in process made this bracelet for me. It says: "For these children I have prayed" and so for these children I will continue to pray!!

The End of Another Year

2014.

What a year.

If someone had told me last January 1st what the year had in store for me and my family, I'm not sure I would have believed them! I have been stretched and challenged, had highs and lows, wonderful experiences and fun times.

Honestly, part of me is sad that another year has passed. There will be moments that I can't get back, mistakes I've made that I can't fix. 

Yet, as I look forward to 2015 I have such an excitement and hope! I get to look forward to the memories I will make with Haley, Logan and Penny. I will get to press on in growing my faith. I will get to learn how to love Tyler better. I will get to continue to watch how God works in our lives. And I will get to continue to step out in faith as we eagerly work to bring our kids home from Haiti.

And speaking of our adoption... I heard yesterday that our home study has been preliminarily approved, but will now be reviewed by a leadership team for final approval. I feel like this approval process is taking WAY longer than I had anticipated, but because we are asking to adopt two children there are just more hoops to jump through. I am hoping and praying that next week we will get our final approval so we can take our next step!

I also wanted to share that in the last six months we have been so blessed by others in our fundraising attempts! With our garage sale, our Thirty-One Gifts sale, money we saved, donations to our Pure Charity account and other anonymous donations we have been able to save a substantial amount towards the adoption costs!! It is so encouraging to see God's provision. We will continue to work at putting together fundraisers this next year. We have ideas for another garage sale (if you're spring cleaning we will take those unwanted items off your hands!), a pancake breakfast, a barn party, selling coffee, and other possibilities! 

As this year ends, I am so thankful for all my sweet friends and family. For all your love and support. I am praying blessings for you all in this coming year!

Stacey

Thankful

I've been thinking over how to share about my trip to Haiti. There are so many details about the day to day experience it seems difficult to summarize it all. I could go on and on about what we did, who we met, what the weather was like, what the surroundings were like, etc.
I will say, however, that I have have learned a few things that have seemed to take hold of my heart.

I absolutely love Haiti. It is a very difficult place to describe. The best description I can think of would be "tragically beautiful." There is so much poverty, sickness, and pain. Yet in the midst of it all there is so much beauty! The people, the flowers growing up amongst the rocks, the hope, the community, the spreading of the Gospel. I am so incredibly eager to go back! I knew Haiti would forever be part of my life, but I had no idea how quickly it would grab hold of my heart.

While in Haiti we visited the Wholehearted Orphanage. This orphanage is unlike most orphanages. It is set up family-style. They live in a home where a husband and wife are the dad and mom to the orphans there. They are family now. The love, joy and life that is felt in that home is amazing. When they have visitors each child greets each visitor with a hello in Creole and a kiss on the cheek. They sing songs for the visitors. And when its time to leave everyone stands in a circle holding hands and they pray. While we were there it was the job of one of the teenage boys to pray.

It was the prayer of this boy that struck a cord with me. His prayer was nothing but full of thankfulness. From a purely American perspective, how can this child have so much to be thankful for? I hear people talk about how blessed Americans are. And yes, I agree to some extent. But then again there are many negatives to that blessed life. Constant busyness, discontent, greed, selfishness, isolation... Those thing were not evident in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ in Haiti. They had hearts full of thanksgiving, a passion for Christ, and lives spent living in community with those around them.

I will admit that I had a difficult time coming back home. Hours of travel, a nagging cough and jumping right into the Thanksgiving holiday wasn't easy. I've been trying to process my experience in Haiti. It's still overwhelming at times. My mind will randomly slip back to different events that happened. I wish Tyler had been there with me to experience it too. I have so much to be thankful for. 

I truly do eagerly look forward to visiting Haiti again. Maybe it will be another mission trip. But maybe it will be to visit our children!

First World Problems

I've been mulling over how to put these last few weeks into words. I think I'll put a lot of pictures into this post because I'm still not sure I have all the right words.

In late August, just before Labor Day weekend, we went on vacation with some friends. Before we left we had one issue with an upstairs bathroom. No big deal. We still had another full bathroom upstairs and another half bath downstairs. We were leaving town for a few days so by the time we got back the bathroom in need of repairs would mostly be taken care of. The place we went to was amazingly beautiful. Breathtaking. We had a great time swimming, hiking, sitting around the campfire and just relaxing.

To find a place like this you have to be pretty much in the middle of nowhere. And in the middle of nowhere there is no cell service. For our vacation it was so nice to be "unplugged". For the coming home, it was a whole different story entirely.

Once we were within cell service again my phone and Tyler's started going off like crazy. It was text after text and voicemail after voicemail. And guess what? While we were gone our other upstairs toilet decided to break. Yep. The water ran and ran until our neighbors saw water coming out of our front porch ceiling. When we got home this is how we found our house:

Down to the studs in half our living room, part of our master bedroom and now our master bathroom. So we tried to make the best of it. That's Logan on the subfloor. He colored a race track and was playing with his matchbox cars.

Oh! And in the midst of all this, I must share, school started! Now Haley is in 2nd grade, Logan is in Kindergarten and Penny is in Preschool.

For our first week of living in the midst of a remodel we held it together pretty well. The kids managed to get to school with all their supplies, they started soccer and we had our third home study visit! Our sweet social worker came to our house while it was all torn apart. I guess it was a good thing she saw our home before! 

THEN that same afternoon we rented an RV to move into for a week or so. Just living the dream right? :) Our home had become so stressful to live in that we needed a peaceful place to retreat to. Friends of ours let us park the RV on their property. It was really fun to be neighbors for awhile! 

We plugged along with trying to get our home study training done, but the long days were turning into long nights and we knew we had to push pause on something. We are just a few small steps from completing our home study. But for the next week or two we are setting it aside. It makes me sad. It really does. To know I could be working on something to help the process along but am not. But as I am reminded and reminding myself, God knows when our kids are supposed to come home. And all this is in His time.

And so now we are back in our home. It is nowhere near finished, but the work that needs to be done now requires us to be at our house so much more working on it. As I stand at the kitchen counter writing this here is what my house looks like:

If you know me at all you will know that I thrive when there is structure and order. My life has none of that right now. It's a struggle, it's stressful and I'm tired. There are moments when I can laugh at all this and moments when I just want to cry. I am way out of my comfort zone and element. But in all reality I know God can work this for His good. I know that as I learn to move past my pride and allow people to help me or to ask for help that God is growing me. And truly, this is all just a first world problem. I still have plenty of food to eat and a roof over my head. 

One day, instead of the rest of the house, I hope to be painting the kids bedroom in preparation for their siblings to come home.

Home Study - Part 1

We had our first home study visit! It seemed a bit surreal. I, of course, was on a cleaning frenzy the 24 hours before our social worker came. Even though she reassured me it was not a "white glove" test, I was not about to let my house look less than what I would consider appropriate. :) Don't worry, my garage kept me humble as it is still holding some remnants from our garage sale!

Our social worker seemed very sweet. It will be really great working with her. The part I love about our agency is that they take the time to pray with us. Its a good reminder that no matter how much paperwork, organizing, and interviewing we do, it's still ultimately up to God. 

After our visit we had to wait a few days before we received our checklist for what documents we needed to gather and forms we needed to sign. The waiting days are always the hardest. It's hard to feel like you should be doing something and can't. It's hard to feel like things are out of your control. It's hard to not get discouraged. So to be honest, last week was hard. I think that I'm still learning the waves of emotions that come with this process. Sometimes I will be able to complete a step and there will be great joy and it will be easy to praise God. Sometimes I won't be able to do anything. And it's in those times that I am learning it's easy for me to get discouraged and begin to grumble. I'm really hoping that will change!

And so now I am gathering documents, signing more papers, writing an autobiography and ordering things like my third child's birth certificate... that I should have ordered more than three years ago...

It has been interesting and challenging to write my autobiography. The outline for it involves so many different times in my life, so many different people and so much analytical thought! I think it would be much easer to write about someone else. And the fact that I hardly remember anything that happened before 6th grade doesn't help! I'm powering through though because as soon as we get them in to our social worker we can schedule our next interviews. They will be one-on-one interviews and take about an hour each. I can't imagine what we will talk about for an hour!

We are also wrapping up a fundraiser that we have been doing over the last few weeks with Thirty-One Gifts. (You could still order something tonight if you're interested!! http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E4747929&from=DIRECTLINK )

It has been so fun to do this one! I've even got some Christmas shopping done! I might do another fundraiser party this fall as there are new fabrics and items coming out. :) I'm also thinking of doing another fundraiser that is near and dear to my heart... it has to do with COFFEE! :)

I do have to say, it's hard to know sometimes if our kids understand the whole adoption thing. But they talk about their brothers or brother and sister every day! Sometimes Penny will look up and me and ask, "Are our brothers or brother and sister coming home today?" It's so sweet! And every night when we put the kids to bed, we get to pray with them for our kids who are not yet in our home. We pray that God will protect them and show them His love even before we can. I think our kids get it. And somewhere in my heart I am praying that they will know that we are all orphans waiting to be adopted by a heavenly Father who desperately loves us and chooses us for His forever family. 

It's Not Mine

Sometimes I can be stubborn. Shocking, I know. :) While researching adoption I came across many ideas for fundraising. One was to have a garage sale. No way. No thanks. Not interested. In my mind I had some very good reasons to NOT have one:

1. It's too much work.

2. We don't have enough stuff to sell.

3. We won't raise enough money to make it worth all the effort.

4. I don't even know how, I've never done one on my own before.

5. I can't handle the unorganized mess.

6. I just don't want to.

Well, those reasons were just not cutting it. That gentle nudging was happening again. I could tell God was calling me to do this and that He didn't think my reasons for not doing one were good enough. I'd like to say that I decided to obey God with a cheerful heart, but that wouldn't be the truth. I think I decided to be obedient because we had sent off our adoption agency payment and our checking account was at a frightfully low amount. I knew God would provide. I would do the garage sale, but I was expecting it to make maybe $600 or $700. 

In an earlier blog post I mentioned that we would be having a garage sale. People started asking if we wanted items donated to the sale. Sure! Why not? And so people started bringing things... a little here, a little there. And before I knew it my garage was getting full!

Here is a picture of everything out on Friday morning (yes, I know the canopy is leaning. Don't worry, we fixed it!):

 

We also had a snack stand that my daughters and niece helped with:

After a week of preparation and two days of the sale, God made it clear that this was indeed what we were supposed to do. We prayed that we would be amazed and make $1,000.00. He provided $1,600.00 on Friday alone!!! Friday night we looked at what our next payment would be, $2,412.50. We then decided to start praying that God would provide that amount. And as of today I am so blessed, thankful and excited to share that we have raised $2,196.28!!!!

Blown away. Amazed. Tears in my eyes. Completely in awe.

I know that number is still short of what we will owe. And I'm completely at peace about that. We still have a few items in our garage that we are trying to sell on Craig's List. I believe that once those are sold we will have all we need and more to set aside for our classes and training we will be starting soon.

It is so incredibly humbling to allow people to help us, to accept their gifts and donations and know we could not have done this on our own. I cannot say it enough, but we are so incredibly thankful for everyone who donated items, helped organize, let us borrow tables, baked treats, came to shop, and prayed for us.

We still have a long ways to go in raising the funds we need to complete the adoptions. God is faithful. God provides. God is good. And my stubbornness... that was a waste of time!

In God We Trust

We received our first cash donation! A whopping $0.25. :) But seriously, that quarter has taught me so much today. Let me rephrase that. God has used that quarter to teach me so much today. Going in to the adoption process I had always felt a strange peace about how the financial aspect of it was going to work out. I've had this peace deep in my soul.

But then our first payment was due. Before we could move forward we need to send our agency a payment. Suddenly my mind began racing. What if we can't raise all we need? What if the grants we apply for are denied? What if our fundraising ideas don't pan out?

This morning I went running with my friend Elena. I cherish those mornings, working through life as we run. This morning we ran right past a quarter. Elena saw it and handed it to me, jokingly saying she was donating it to our adoption fund. That was the huge donation I was referring to before. After we parted ways to head home and start our days, I took that quarter out of my pocket. I looked it over and over. It's just a silly quarter. But I kept thinking on how our money has "In God We Trust" printed on it. Why am I suddenly doubting that God is big enough to provide? He always has. I have never been without. If God is calling us to bring these children home. He will provide!

Trust. God. Money.

Thanks God! I've got it! Papers are signed. Payment check written. And it's in the mail!

I know I've written before that we are having a garage sale (July 18-19) to help raise funds. I just want to share that God has been so good in providing items to sell that have generously been donated by family and friends. Others have offered to help with the kids while we run the sale. And even others still who are making some yummy snacks to sell. We are so very thankful.

Another opportunity has come up through a sweet family member of mine. She has offered to help us raise money through Thirty-One Gifts!  Check out the cute stuff at www.thirtyonegifts.com. If you need gift ideas for Christmas it's not too early to start shopping! But don't buy anything yet!! Purchases made through her during August 1-14 will go towards our adoption. I'll post more details soon.

I am still so very thankful for all the prayers! If you're looking for another way to help support us, come by the garage sale July 18-19 or do a little shopping at Thirty-One Gifts in August. :)

Application Approved!

Our application was approved! We heard back from our agency in just over 24 hours! All five of us had gone to Salem to pick up some groceries from Costco. It was Friday, June 27th 2014. They had samples out so Tyler, Haley and Penny stood in line waiting for some sort of chicken product to try. I took Logan in the shopping cart to get some milk when I heard my phone chime that I had a message. I took my phone out of my purse and listened to the message. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears as I was listening, it was our agency telling me we had been approved! Logan was looking at me funny, probably wondering what was wrong with his mom. :) I hung up my phone and gave Logan a big hug while telling him we'd been accepted into the Haiti program. We can bring his brothers or brother and sister home! Tyler and the girls found us and when I saw Tyler I felt like I could start crying. I told them the exciting news and I'm sure all the other shoppers are wondering what in the world is going on with us. :) Those moments will hopefully forever be stored in my memory. The excitement and emotion were so strong I can't even imagine how I am going to feel when I actually get to meet my children! I have been telling myself that this will probably be the fastest thing to happen, so don't get used to it. Nevertheless, it was time to celebrate with a little sparkling cider!

This past week we had a nice break from the intense research, decision making and application process. Our agency social worker was out of the office for the week so we couldn't really move forward at all. We were emailed a 165 page document about the program, fees, training, and process we will be involved in over these next months and years. I think it was a good thing that was all we had to do last week because it was a lot to read!

On Thursday we went up to the house Tyler grew up in. His brother lives there now, but a lot of his dad and mom's things are still there. Tyler's dad said he would donate some things to our garage sale fundraiser so we started going through the garage. I feel like in some ways this is how Tyler's mom can be part of bringing our children home. It's pretty amazing how many memories come flooding back by just being at the house.  I was able to see this hydrangea bush that Caron loved. They will forever remind me of her. I miss her.

We spent a lot of time this week with our kids swimming, playing games and enjoying time with friends and family. We had a fantastic 4th of July and went to watch Frozen at the park on Saturday night. I love summer and the fun small town activities we get to do. I keep thinking about how fun it will be to share these moments with all five of our kids.

Now I eagerly anticipate tomorrow. I will be close to my phone all day waiting for our agency to call and tell me what our next step will be. What paperwork do we need to gather? What training do we need to start? What appointments do I need to make? I can't wait to get started!!

First Step

We've made our first step! We have officially applied with an adoption agency.  In some ways it feels like a baby step. The first of about a million and one to get us to the end. In other ways it feels like a giant leap! Like we've jumped head first into the deep end of our crazy new life.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014 - That's the night we officially decided on what agency to use. It's a pretty in depth application and took us awhile to get it finished. Tyler was working on the finishing touches this morning. And as he was working at the computer I felt like I was pacing back and forth and hovering over him. :) I decided I'd better distract myself or I might drive him crazy. A few minutes later he found me and said he'd actually submitted the application. That was something I'd pictured us sitting at the computer doing together... but instead of pushing the "back" button, he had pushed the "submit" button! Oops. :)

And now the waiting begins. We will not find out if we have been approved until after the 4th of July. I am going to learn a LOT about patience through all of this. Thankfully I have a few things that will be keeping me busy.

One thing will be a garage sale to begin fundraising. We haven't ever attempted to do a garage sale on our own before. I'm sure it will be quite the experience. We have already been blessed by a few families who have donated some items. The other thing will be getting our house ready for our home study. We are still basically "child proof" but I'm sure there will be things we need to work on.

Keep those prayers coming! Pray for our children that are growing in our hearts. Pray for our three we already have. Pray for our finances (yikes!). And pray as we face long waits and unexpected things that our faith will be strengthened.

Keeping up with the Jones'

Life is pretty great. I really have no complaints. I am blessed and I truly know it. Here's the kicker though: I am not content. There. I admitted it. 

The strange thing about being blessed and not being content has been the restlessness I feel. It's like I should be trying harder to just settle in to the life I have. To comfortably live in my 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house in the small, family friendly town we live in. To help out in my kids classrooms, shuttle them to and from sports practice and serve in my church. I thought all I wanted was to live a peaceful, comfortable life.

But then there's that restlessness...

I know what it is. It's that gentle nudging. That quiet voice whispering to me. Oh Lord, why do you ask me to do things that are seemingly so difficult! 

That's when I am reminded: "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:9-10

God is asking my husband and I to do something that will be difficult, something not everyone will understand. We are not capable of doing this on our own, but with God's power I know it can be.

So what is it that God is calling us to??? Adoption. From Haiti. And not just one child, but two!! That's right... we will have 5 children and become a family of 7! 

Our hearts have been open to the thought of adoption for about 4 years now. We have tried being a family that provides respite care for children in crisis in our community and we have tried becoming a foster family. But each time God has either given us a closed door or an unsettled heart about serving in those ways. And yet the verse in James keeps coming back to our minds. A call we cannot ignore: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

And so now we begin this new journey. We begin to feel our hearts grow in love for our children that we have yet to meet. We search and pray for the right agency, knowing they will be walking through this life changing journey with us. We are very close to settling on an agency and the excitement is building!

For now, for those of you reading this, I ask for your prayer! We will be needing all kinds of support through this, but for now:

Pray